LOVE at first sight.

I am not going to lie, when i first saw these pair of shoes I fell in love!!I was hoping it would be a pair of shoes that I can manage to wear for a day, but I am not sure. I am still keeping them though!!!I kept eyeing them at the store and last minute manage to pick them up. They were the only pair left!!!SO my last resort was if it wasn't meant to be it wouldn't be my size. Luck was on my side. And I am glad it was!!!

I Big Chopped...November 19th!

Yes. You heard right I, a person who never really did anything drastic or out of the ordinary cut my relaxed hair off. Actually my mommy did!! I am so proud and happy for her as well as myself!! For some reason I was set on cutting my hair. Over the past few weeks I have been cutting bits of my hair just to see what it looks like. I was beginning to have a little collection LOL. That night I was set on cutting my hair I washed my hair and afterwards stated chopping. My older sister was telling me her opinion (how she won't like it, what will you do with it, etc.) I was set on it and my sister isn't into natural hair from what I know. My mother came into the bathroom and cut my hair. My older sister of course went down stairs to announce to the world (which happened to be just my father) I was going natural. OK. Well, my dad didn't know I was cutting my hair!! Yea I didn't feel the need to inform daddy because it was something that I thought about for 8+ months and I already asked and received his opinion about natural hair (No). When he came up he was furious. However my mom went on and when I looked in the mirror I wasn't immediately shocked just smiling and looking at my hair. I told my mom thank you. She has always been asking me when I will perm my hair and please can you perm your hair but I didn't want to. She surprised me that day. I am really thankful to have parents like these. (Yes including my father) 


I have to admit I was semi-shocked. I am not one of those people that always had long hair. I am not emotionally attached to my hair. When my hair was finished cut my head didn't feel any lighter. My hair was past collar bone length (has never reached any longer). Having my father reject my hair was kind of troublesome to me but my mom brought me right up. My hair wasn't thin where I was put in a position where I felt I had to cut my hair. I just needed a CHANGE. It is just hair. I am not cutting off an arm. It will grow back. After high school I felt that I am stuck with the person people want me to be. I wanted to do something and I did it. I feel liberated. (I guess), strange and complex.


The reason why I didn't right an entry was because I was in a complex state of mind. My feelings were all mixed and not one definite feeling/mood. I don't regret it. I can't wait to see progress in the months and years to come!! I am going to document my hair. (that sounds a bit ridiculous) just to have something fun to do and SEE progress.

Sample mini chop

Some minutes ago I decided to cut off some of my hair, just to test it out. I wasn't disappointed. I didn't feel any way when I noticed the long yet comparably thin pieces of hair were removed from my head. I was laughing through out the whole thing, but I didn't feel regretful. I will post pics later of my"sample mini chop". 


Goodnight and good morning.

...how many weeks until school is over?

I have been busy with school so I am unable to involve myself in anything right now. I still have my new growth despite the negative messages I get from my family. To me I see how people will adapt to the view of others just for the sake of not hearing/feeling negativity around them. Since leaving high school (two years ago) I realize how much the opinions of others have been molding me. I am/was always in the "safe" zone so I won't hear anyones questions of me. I am not just talking about he material things even though it plays a role of who I become and how I interact. School is so distracting, I feel like I am being rushed through the whole thing. The 5 am alarm wake up calls are a bit too much for a minimum wage job. I hope that when I go away for University my life will be more enjoyable. I know it will be worse (more demanding) than it is now, but I wan an enjoyable demanding life...At the moment I am counting down the weeks till the first semester is over. At times like this I wonder how I would feel once I have a "real" job. I am not much of a social person due to the amount of crappy people I am surrounded by in high school and  the present. Yes I go to school (community college), but most of the people there are middle age parents/adults or kids who....yeah that pretty much sums them up. It seems that usually people have friends that they grew up with and they stay in contact. Well, I don't have that typical beginning.

Dr. Bronner's Peppermint Castille soap pffft!

Since I have been making my own little money I decided to try an organic/natural product. Dr. Bronner's castille soap (peppermint) was my first organic purchase. I have thin to regular hair, so all the moisture it can get or keep sounds good for me. This shampoo doesn't do it for me. I read the ingredients and it is basically made out of oils ( olive, jojoba, etc.) Sounds moisturizing, right? WRONG!!! This is drying which creates plenty of  knots. Yes, I did "dilute, dilute, dilute", this stuff doesn't work for me. I understand that it suppose to dissolve dirt and oils that don't belong in hair,but it is way too drying. I am sticking to my average shampoo it cleans my hair and scalp well and doesn't result in knots. I never had a problem with my shampoo I just wanted to try something that is natural/organic.

I did some research (via Google) about this product and it was said how drying it was. That didn't stop me!!! I wanted to try it for myself. At first I made up my mind to bring it back, but then I just kept thinking maybe I am letting a great product for me go by because of other people's experience. I paid about $9-$10 for the average size bottle, not the huge one. Right now I am using it to take a shower and wash my face. I might use this shampoo if I need a good shampoo after keeping in a hairstyle for some time.

My hair hates honey.

I tried an olive oil hair mask from coco and creme recently....It made my hair extremely dry. I have my hair out and that made it especially difficult. I couldn't handle my hair. I felt that if I dealt with it too much I will break it. I am glad I tried something new, but it made my hair worse. Even though it is all "natural"/organic it wasn't better than my regular non organic conditioner. Organic doesn't always mean better (in my case), but I think it was because my hair hates honey. I am not use to handling my hair so it was hard to manage. My mom was the one who would put my hair in one style and I would try to make it last as long as possible. I need to find products that work for my hair. I have thin hair so it can be too heavy, but it can't be too light that my hair isn't moisturized. School and work is already getting a bit tiresome. It's too boring!! I just look at all this work and start with what I don't mind. Psychology.

By the way I love the website Coco and Creme. It isn't the typical website "for all black people". Any one can look at this site and like it. It is more geared towards fashion and beauty. I love how they have a pretty decent representation and PDA for natural hair. They have a very nice set up and it is really fun to look around, even if you are not just looking for natural hair websites.

I am tired+school++work=??

I am tired. lol like the title didn't say enough. School is coming up this Monday. I thought it was next, NEXT Monday. You can just imagine how surprised I was! I just started getting hours for work at the exact time school is starting (college). This year I had to buy my books, so that annoyed me a little bit. I have decided that I am not going to perm my hair. I want something new!! I have a job so I can support my self for all the small personal things (shampoo, conditioner etc.). I had lots of things that I learned and thought about. I learned about myself and grew through self awareness. Hopefully I will be wise enough to do extremely well in my class while going to work! This is going to be a first. I am taking to biology ( intro to nutrition and general biology), precalculus and psychology II. This will be my last year in community college then I am transferring!! So I know that is more than enough of a reason to do my best this year. No matter what drama I confront this year I will overcome it and remain strong.

 I have to be really strict on myself. I have an acute high off of little/no sleep so I should stop before I lose it. 2 more days till school....I use to be excited about the first day of school, but in college it just feels like another responsibility that I have to do, which is true...