I Big Chopped...November 19th!

Yes. You heard right I, a person who never really did anything drastic or out of the ordinary cut my relaxed hair off. Actually my mommy did!! I am so proud and happy for her as well as myself!! For some reason I was set on cutting my hair. Over the past few weeks I have been cutting bits of my hair just to see what it looks like. I was beginning to have a little collection LOL. That night I was set on cutting my hair I washed my hair and afterwards stated chopping. My older sister was telling me her opinion (how she won't like it, what will you do with it, etc.) I was set on it and my sister isn't into natural hair from what I know. My mother came into the bathroom and cut my hair. My older sister of course went down stairs to announce to the world (which happened to be just my father) I was going natural. OK. Well, my dad didn't know I was cutting my hair!! Yea I didn't feel the need to inform daddy because it was something that I thought about for 8+ months and I already asked and received his opinion about natural hair (No). When he came up he was furious. However my mom went on and when I looked in the mirror I wasn't immediately shocked just smiling and looking at my hair. I told my mom thank you. She has always been asking me when I will perm my hair and please can you perm your hair but I didn't want to. She surprised me that day. I am really thankful to have parents like these. (Yes including my father) 


I have to admit I was semi-shocked. I am not one of those people that always had long hair. I am not emotionally attached to my hair. When my hair was finished cut my head didn't feel any lighter. My hair was past collar bone length (has never reached any longer). Having my father reject my hair was kind of troublesome to me but my mom brought me right up. My hair wasn't thin where I was put in a position where I felt I had to cut my hair. I just needed a CHANGE. It is just hair. I am not cutting off an arm. It will grow back. After high school I felt that I am stuck with the person people want me to be. I wanted to do something and I did it. I feel liberated. (I guess), strange and complex.


The reason why I didn't right an entry was because I was in a complex state of mind. My feelings were all mixed and not one definite feeling/mood. I don't regret it. I can't wait to see progress in the months and years to come!! I am going to document my hair. (that sounds a bit ridiculous) just to have something fun to do and SEE progress.

Sample mini chop

Some minutes ago I decided to cut off some of my hair, just to test it out. I wasn't disappointed. I didn't feel any way when I noticed the long yet comparably thin pieces of hair were removed from my head. I was laughing through out the whole thing, but I didn't feel regretful. I will post pics later of my"sample mini chop". 


Goodnight and good morning.

...how many weeks until school is over?

I have been busy with school so I am unable to involve myself in anything right now. I still have my new growth despite the negative messages I get from my family. To me I see how people will adapt to the view of others just for the sake of not hearing/feeling negativity around them. Since leaving high school (two years ago) I realize how much the opinions of others have been molding me. I am/was always in the "safe" zone so I won't hear anyones questions of me. I am not just talking about he material things even though it plays a role of who I become and how I interact. School is so distracting, I feel like I am being rushed through the whole thing. The 5 am alarm wake up calls are a bit too much for a minimum wage job. I hope that when I go away for University my life will be more enjoyable. I know it will be worse (more demanding) than it is now, but I wan an enjoyable demanding life...At the moment I am counting down the weeks till the first semester is over. At times like this I wonder how I would feel once I have a "real" job. I am not much of a social person due to the amount of crappy people I am surrounded by in high school and  the present. Yes I go to school (community college), but most of the people there are middle age parents/adults or kids who....yeah that pretty much sums them up. It seems that usually people have friends that they grew up with and they stay in contact. Well, I don't have that typical beginning.