I am tired+school++work=??

I am tired. lol like the title didn't say enough. School is coming up this Monday. I thought it was next, NEXT Monday. You can just imagine how surprised I was! I just started getting hours for work at the exact time school is starting (college). This year I had to buy my books, so that annoyed me a little bit. I have decided that I am not going to perm my hair. I want something new!! I have a job so I can support my self for all the small personal things (shampoo, conditioner etc.). I had lots of things that I learned and thought about. I learned about myself and grew through self awareness. Hopefully I will be wise enough to do extremely well in my class while going to work! This is going to be a first. I am taking to biology ( intro to nutrition and general biology), precalculus and psychology II. This will be my last year in community college then I am transferring!! So I know that is more than enough of a reason to do my best this year. No matter what drama I confront this year I will overcome it and remain strong.

 I have to be really strict on myself. I have an acute high off of little/no sleep so I should stop before I lose it. 2 more days till school....I use to be excited about the first day of school, but in college it just feels like another responsibility that I have to do, which is true...

Jimi Hendrix

Firstly, I am not a full blooded, know everything about him Jimi Hendrix fan. I just love the guy's music and how he carries himself. Yesterday around 4 am I searched Youtube for him performing "hey joe" and "sunshine of your love" by the Creams. I just noticed the little crush I have on his hair^^ so when I went to one of the blogs I follow, Alice in Nappyland the next day (or later the same day) I was a bit happy to see he was on there. I don't know if his hair is permed (and curled) or a hot curling iron or what, but he has crazy hair. It isn't "perfectly" done which is what I like about it. It can be kind of straight and curly to afro to head o' curls. I guess I like messy looks, but I am not black or white when it comes to what I like or don't like. And gawd I love his style...

Tough Black Love

I do not agree with how my mother raises me. She doesn't allow me to change or grow in an way. I have to stay within her image. By staying the exact same way I have always been, I see everything else changing and developing=thriving. Sure they might not be the BEST thing/person out there but they are happy with themselves.  I am not. I want to transition from relaxed hair to natural hair. This is a simple process that can mean going to hell if you are a black girl from a mom/family that have a 1800s knowledge about black hair. I have no problem with my family or anyone not for me going natural, but please can I have some opinion and control?

About 6 months ago I got interested interested in going natural. Yes, 6 months ago. However I still f-ing perm my hair. I am a 19 year old who has NO decision on my own fucking hair. I told my my mom about what I wanted to do, calmly. She attacked me telling me there is nothing that I can do to my hair. NOTHING at all? How about braids? "NOPE you can't get that!!" I listed this and that. I had to get rid of 4 months of growth like that. Next couple of weeks I told her I do not want to go to the hair dresser to get my hair permed. What did she do, she came back home with a kit. She mixed the kit her herself and punched me so I'll comply. Have to love that good ol' fashion BLACK tough love. If my child wants to change I will fucking beat her. GREAT PHILOSOPHY MOM. BULLSHIT.

When I finish school and support myself I will be natural. I probably will not go home as often as I should because I don't want to hear the ignorant talk.

*Looking back at this post it makes me laugh. I still feel this way, but I feel like a kid when I vent about stuff.*

This is new...

I had the idea of writing/creating a blog for a while now. I hope to make it into something that I actually enjoy to do. I just created it, so I have a lot of things to create.